Jan 21, 2014

Temperature in the Windy City


60° F: Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing. 

50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens. 

40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down. 

32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker. 

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket. 

15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold. 

0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows. 

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door. 

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats. 

40° below zero: Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors. 

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start 'da car.'

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, 'cold 'nuff for ya?' 

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.

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