TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART
60° F: Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.
50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.
40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.
15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.
40° below zero: Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start 'da car.'
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, 'cold 'nuff for ya?'
500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.