Sven and Ole
Many jokes are based on ethnic put downs. The jokes start like this, "There were these two (insert ethnic slur here), and then some silly joke.
These jokes are not politically correct but are humorous. I used to tell them until the various ethnic groups rebelled, making it unpleasant and possibly hazardous to tell the joke.
I always enjoyed disparaging Swedes and Danes (I am part Norwegian and it is in our DNA). The jokes start like this, "There were these two big dumb Swedes, Sven and Ole, and then some silly joke.
But then they got mad, so I had to keep the same joke but make it a Norwegian joke. Same dumb joke, same Sven and Ole.
But then the Norwegians got mad and made me stop. I was in a quandry.
But I always ask first. "Would anyone be offended if I told a Hittite Joke?" Usually no one admits to being a Hittite and no one objects. So here is the joke.
There were these two big dumb Hittites, Sven and Ole (insert dumb ethnic joke here)
More Sven and Ole Jokes
The Boat
Sven and Ole go fishing. It’s such a great day, they rent a boat so they can fish from the middle of the lake. They row out, drop their lines, and before you know it, they're catching fish, one after another after another. They can’t believe what a great fishing spot they found.
Sven says, “This is the best fishing spot in the county. It’s just too bad we didn’t bring some paint.”
Ole asks, “Paint? Why should you want paint, to go fishing?”
“Well Ole, don’t you see, so we can paint an “X” in the bottom of the boat, so we can find this spot next time.”
Ole laughs at him. “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! Next time, what if they give us a different boat?”
The Mule
Sven and Ole buy a mule. But when they get it home, they can’t get it into the barn. It just won’t go.
Sven says, “I know just the problem. He won’t fit through the door. His ears are too long.”
Ole sees that Sven is right, thinks a bit, and then says, “I know what we can do. We should raise the barn by a foot, so he’ll fit.”
Sven asks, “Wouldn’t it be easier to dig a ditch for him to walk in?”
Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! It’s his ears that are too long, not his legs!”
The Truck
Ole hears that Sven just bought a new truck, so he goes over to take a look at it. When he gets there, he sees dents all over the truck, and Sven sitting in the driveway behind the truck.
Ole says, “Sven, why did you buy a truck with dents?”
Sven says, “Oh, I made a real good deal. It got dented in a hailstorm, so the salesman gave me $50 off the price. And he said that all I have to do is blow on the tailpipe, and those dents will pop right out. But I’ve been sitting here blowing on this tailpipe for two hours now, and I don’t think it's working.
Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! You have to close the windows first!”
Sven and Ole go fishing. It’s such a great day, they rent a boat so they can fish from the middle of the lake. They row out, drop their lines, and before you know it, they're catching fish, one after another after another. They can’t believe what a great fishing spot they found.
Sven says, “This is the best fishing spot in the county. It’s just too bad we didn’t bring some paint.”
Ole asks, “Paint? Why should you want paint, to go fishing?”
“Well Ole, don’t you see, so we can paint an “X” in the bottom of the boat, so we can find this spot next time.”
Ole laughs at him. “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! Next time, what if they give us a different boat?”
The Mule
Sven and Ole buy a mule. But when they get it home, they can’t get it into the barn. It just won’t go.
Sven says, “I know just the problem. He won’t fit through the door. His ears are too long.”
Ole sees that Sven is right, thinks a bit, and then says, “I know what we can do. We should raise the barn by a foot, so he’ll fit.”
Sven asks, “Wouldn’t it be easier to dig a ditch for him to walk in?”
Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! It’s his ears that are too long, not his legs!”
The Truck
Ole hears that Sven just bought a new truck, so he goes over to take a look at it. When he gets there, he sees dents all over the truck, and Sven sitting in the driveway behind the truck.
Ole says, “Sven, why did you buy a truck with dents?”
Sven says, “Oh, I made a real good deal. It got dented in a hailstorm, so the salesman gave me $50 off the price. And he said that all I have to do is blow on the tailpipe, and those dents will pop right out. But I’ve been sitting here blowing on this tailpipe for two hours now, and I don’t think it's working.
Ole says, “Sven, don’t be such a dummy! You have to close the windows first!”
Ole Eriksen MPHS 66
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