From "The Onion"

Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear

DALLAS—Admiring the personal protective equipment shielding her caregivers from the deadly virus, a nurse receiving treatment for Ebola told reporters Monday that she was ...

Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt

SAN FRANCISCO—Despite a long list of intractable character flaws, local account executive Jeremy Gorstal has coasted through the first 32 years of his existence ...

Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness

After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building

Man Surrounded By Loved Ones Feels Awkward Being Only Person Dying

Study: Marriages Between Perfectly Matched Couples Should Still Only Last About 15 Years

New Carpet Cleaner Safe For Pets That Were Meant To Go On Living

 

 

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