Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  Really? Ya think?  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far!  _____________________________

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  What a guy!  --------------------------------------------------------------- Miners Refuse to Work after Death  No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  ------------------------------------------------------ Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  See if that works any better than a fair trial!  ---------------------------------------------------------- War Dims Hope for Peace  I can see where it might have that effect!  ---------------------------------------------------------------- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  Ya think?!  ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who would have thought!  ---------------------------------------------------------------- Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide  They may be on to something!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  ---------------------------------------------------------- Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  He probably IS the battery charge!  ---------------------------------------------- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  Weren't they fat enough?!  ----------------------------------------------- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft  That's what he gets for eating those beans!  ---------------- --------------------------------- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  Do they taste like chicken?  ****************************** Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half  Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  *************************************************** Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  Boy, are they tall!  ******************************************* And the winner is  ... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  Did I read that right?