Sep 6, 2015

Three Scandanavians in a boat

Three men were afloat on a pile of wreckage in the midst of the North Sea – a Dane, a Norwegian, and a Swede. They were lonely, getting cold, thirsty, hungry, and almost beyond desperation after three days in the water. Their boat had fallen apart in a storm. Then suddenly one of the men spies a bottle floating nearby so they paddled their wreckage over to it. The Norwegian picks it out of the water and decides to open it.

POOF – out pops a Genie. He says, “As you know, us Genies usually give three wishes, but seeing as there are three of you, I will give each one wish. He turns to the Norwegian and says, “What is your wish?” The Norwegian doesn’t hesitate and says, “You know it’s terribly cold out here and if we don’t get back to land, we’ll all die.” "Well then,” says the Genie, “what’s your wish?” “Well," says the Norwegian, "I wish I was back home in Oslo with my wife at a dinner with a nice glass of red wine.” POOF – the Norwegian was gone, back home in Oslo with his wife at dinner and a nice glass of red wine.

The Genie turns to the Dane, “What about you?” “Well,” says the Dane, “that Norwegian was not that far off, but I wish I was back in Copenhagen in "you know what’ with my girl-friend.” POOF, the Dane was back in Copenhagen with his girl-friend.

The Genie turns to the Swede and says, “What about you?” The Swede looks a bit distressed and puzzled. He begins to ponder and think. He thinks, thinks, and does more thinking. Meanwhile the Genie waits, waits and does more waiting. Finally after nearly 30 minutes, the Genie says, “You know friend, you’ve got to make up your mind, I have only got so much time to be with you until I have to go help others. Us Genies have to get on with this ‘wish thing.’ There are many others out and about in desperate need of help, and your time is about up. If you don’t make a wish, you won’t get one. So what’s your wish?”

“Well, says the Swede. It’s terribly lonely out here without those other two guys, so I guess I wish they were back here with me.” POOF!!!


At the risk of giving Craig more to gloat about, I thought this joke, told by a Finn, was funny. It also gives you an idea of what Finns think of their Scandinavian neighbors. 

(BTW, the few native-born Finns I've met had good senses of humor.) 

-Don Martensen MPHS Jan 66



There was this Norwegian who was on vacation 'over-there' in Florida. All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to buying a pair. 

Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price didn't help. Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep your lousy shoes. If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" 

The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just told me." The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he heads out into the swamp.
After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. Both of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. That must be the Swedes the Norwegian thinks. Suddenly there's a movement in the water and an alligator swims towards one of the Swedes. The Swede is standing there like a statue, just waiting for the big gator to get closer. 

When the gator is close by the Swede sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. The Swede turns the gator on his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! No shoes on this one either!"

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