Mar 26, 2023


Although not in the dictionary, it is reported that "Lexophile" describes a person who loves sentences such as, "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," and, "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

 An annual competition is held by the 'New York Times' to see who can create the best original lexophile.


This year's submissions:


 ◾I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

 ◾England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

◾Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

   ◾This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.


◾I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


 ◾A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

   ◾When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

 ◾I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

◾A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.

   ◾A will is a dead giveaway.

  ◾With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 

◾Police were summoned to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

  ◾A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

   ◾The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

 ◾He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

◾When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

   ◾Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.

 ◾I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

 ◾Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?  

 ◾When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

   ◾When chemists die, they barium.

 ◾I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

◾I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

Thanks to Charles Van liere 1966 for contributing.

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